Worse Than Voldemort
by Ellen Potter
Summary: James trips over himself to get Lily Evans or as he claims it Lily Potter to finally go out with him. Trouble around every corner. Will he actually make her Mrs. Potter? This is slightly AU. Rating is T is might change but for now its T
1. Chapter 1

**Takes place during their 5th year.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. If you think you recognize this then its probably true because I did a collaboration with TheWorldsWorstJuliet but she hasn't been updating lately so I decided to write this on my own.**

The normally hushed halls of Hogwarts were now filled with excited chatter and squeals. Not from the males, but squeals in the hall none the less. Some students raved about the new Rolling Stones album, others about the Quidditch match, and still others about the latest prank by the four and only Marauders.

The Marauders themselves were not in any way excluded from the jolly festivities.

"Does anyone know what all this is about?" the rat scratched his head in confusion before he felt an arm sling over his shoulder.

"Who cares, Wormtail!" The voice of the Gryffindor Black rang. "We've made Snivellus look like a fool and I'm a head in the detention race, life is good." When the words detention race left his mouth he sent a look to Prongsie, who simply rolled his eyes.

"Oi, Padfoot, everyone knows that I will get the most detentions before all of us graduate." To prove his point he sent a spell at Malfoy that caused his golden locks he loved so dearly become the brightest shade of pink.

While many laugh at the Slytherin King as he walked along as if nothing happened, Sirius clamped his hand on James back in victory.

"I see I have worthy competition," Sirius said before taking a medieval fighting stance and holding out an invisible sword. "On guard!"

At the show before them, most students stopped and watched; this includes the members of the 'I Love James Potter!' fan club which consisted of mostly Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and…Heck, almost every girl that wasn't in Slytherin or already had a boyfriend. Though most of them were also in the 'I Love Sirius Black' and 'I Love Remus Lupin' fan clubs too.

They continued this for a good five minutes before the voice of Little Ms. Perfect Prefect came into ear shot.

"Potter! Black! What in the name of all that is right are you doing!" she inquired as she rushed through the crowed of laughing on lookers.

James sent her a grin. "I am defending my honor from this wretched beast, my love. Care to give me a token of affection in case I fail and never return?"

Padfoot took advantage of Prongs' distraction by striking him square in heart.

James dramatically covered his heart with one hand as the other flew to his forehead. "Alas! I have been bested by a mutt-"

"Hey!"

"All of you need to get up and go to the common room!" Lily ushered the crowed away, they parted reluctantly.

James stood and brushed himself off. "Aw, Lily-flower," he said while faking an understanding expression. "If you were jealous of all the other students watching me then you could have just said something."

Lily sent him an angry look before turning to Remus. "Do you want to do our runs as prefects now or wait until things calm down?"

"Oi, Moony, you better not be trying to steal my Lily-flower!"

Remus chuckled at his friend's mock accusation before turning to Lily. "It'd be pointless to start now, the match just ended."

"Very true, Moony, my boy," Padfoot said while looking at his fellow Marauders. "An easy victory for the Ravenclaws, I dare say. I hear they've been training all week while Hufflepuff has not even gotten the pitch since September with all the practices we've been running."

"So if it is all the same to you, I think we should start in an hour or two," Remus said politely before he and Peter started walking back to the Common room.

Before Lily could say anything James snatched her hand quicker than he would a snitch and kissed it before running off with Sirius close behind. "Until the morn', my love,"

Lily made a face at his retreating form before glancing down at her now wet hand she smiled at it before shaking her head violently and walking to the library.

The next morning the Great hall was abuzz with noise, chatter, and talk about everything under the sun.

Peter scurried through an essay he had yet to write the conclusion paragraph for. Sirius and James were arm wrestling over the last piece of bacon and Remus was declared the referee.

Besides a few looks of disgust, James had not been acknowledged by Lily so far that day.

For she was sitting next to Alice and Frank as they awkwardly tried not to show each other that they liked the other. She smiled behind her book as she saw both the Gryffindor's blush as their hands brushed together when they both reached for the salt.

"I-I'm sorry," Frank mumbled as he handed the salt to Alice. She smiled nervously as he accidently spilled the pepper on his food and tried to cover the fact.

"It's no problem," Alice replied in the chip tone she always used when she was nervous. As if every word made her doubt if her voice could handle it's weight.

"Attention students," The Great Hall fell into complete silence as the Headmaster spoke. Even Prongs and Padfoot, who had finished their match with Sirus as the victor, turned to look at the renowned wizard. "There will be an announcement in all of your common rooms directly after your meal of an important event that will take place." There was a glint in his eye. "So I ask that all students in every house from years four and up," a groan could be heard from the younger students. "Return to their common rooms after they eat."

After he finished talking he looked at everyone at the Gryffindor table. "Did anyone else notice how he won't tell us now? I mean, is it bad?" his eyes narrowed.

They all knew what something bad meant; that You-Know-Who had done something.

"Maybe it's another class they're adding and they don't want the first through third years to know about it." Remus ventured.

"Whatever it is," Sirius cut in. "It oughta be big for them to not flat out tell us."

"Well," James said jumping from his seat. "Let's find out," with that he took off from the room laughing with his friends around him.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Question**

**Disclaimer: This doesn't belong to me yadayadayadaya. Please review!**

**The News**

The four mischief makers headed towards the Gryffindor Common Room planning pranks on Slytherins the whole way. When all the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh year Gryffindors were in the Common Room, Professor McGonagall ordered silence to no avail. Just when she was about to use a _Soronus _charm she heard a loud whistle come from Lily.

"Shut up people and listen to Professor McGonagall!" Lily hollered.

"Thank you Mrs. Evans." She gave Lily one of her rare smiles and a nod while Lily just blushed. "Now that I have your attention, we will be having a ball in celebration of Christmas. I expect you all to go. Dance lessons with me shall begin tonight after dinner. Questions shall be answered then." All of the boys groaned in unison while all the girls squealed in happiness. "_All must come after _dinner." McGonagall repeated her eyes fixed on the Marauders then promptly left.

"This is even worse than Voldemort!" Sirius exclaimed. Marlene Prince, another one of Lily's friends, rolled her eyes and slapped him on the arm. "OW! Bloody hell woman what was that for?"

"For being an arse of course." Marlene answered as if she was asked if she was asked what was one plus one. Lily giggled and left with Alice, Alex, and Mary.

"Oi! Marlene are you coming or not? We have Potions in 10 minutes. "Alex hollered over her shoulder to Marlene.

"Coming!" she chirped and hit Sirius over the head once more (ow!) and skipped off to join them.

Remus, James, and Peter snickered at Sirius. "Oh nip it you lot!" Sirius grumbled. "But Siriusly-" He was cut off by the groaning of the other Marauders.

"Really Padfoot? That bloody pun again?"

"Yep!"

"Come on you lot we have Potions." Remus called over his shoulder as he and Peter left.

"Oi wait up!" James shrieked, in a manly way of course.

**The Dance Lessons**

"Silence!" McGonagall's sharp Scottish voice snapped. Everybody immediately became quiet and paid attention to the Head of their house. "The Christmas ball is a privilege. The house of Gryffindor has been noble and proud for decades. I refuse to let the proud name of Godric Gryffindor and his noble house be tarnished by a bunch of bumbling babbling baboons especially you four!" McGonagall turned to glare at the Marauders but especially Sirius and James.

"Us? Why Minnie, how you wound me." Sirius put a hand over his heart and mock hurt expression on his face.

"Yes Black _especially _you." Minerva snapped through gritted teeth. Padfoot just smirked arrogantly at her. "Alright everybody pick a partner and we shall practice the waltz." Sirius, that git, decided to ask McGonagall to dance.

"Minnie dearest, will you do the honor of being me partner?" Without letting her answer he put his arms around her and led her into the waltz.

James, of course, asked Lily and to his surprise she said yes. They were the best couple dancing other than Frank and Alice. "Um…Lily would you do me the honor of being my date to the ball?" James asked nervously. Lily was shocked. James sounded vulnerable not a single ounce of toerag-ness was showing. Now Lily always did have a crush on James. She always felt butterflies in her stomach when she was near him and every time he asked her out a small part always wanted to say yes but she always said no because he was a prat.

"Sure James. I'll go with you." To say James was shocked was an understatement. His eyes were bulged and his mouth was slightly open and he was grinning like an idiot. "James close your mouth. You're going to catch flies in your mouth if you don't." Lily teased him and smirked. James just about got over his shock and was going to scream 'LILY AGREED TO BE MY DATE TO THE BALL' but he knew Minnie, as Sirius would like to call her, would defiantly give him a detention and take away points. 'Oh, to hell with Minnie!' he thought. He opened his mouth to yell out the news when McGonagall cut him off by announcing that practice was over.

"We shall meet in the Great Hall again same time next week. Good night."

She only took a step before James said, well more like hollered, "I'M GOING TO THE CHRISTMAS BALL WITH LILY MARIE EVANS!" at the top of his lungs and jumped on the Hufflepuff table and did a horrible dance with several pelvic thrusts. It was quite horrible to watch and it only got worse because –bloody Merlin- Sirius bloody Black decided to join him on the Ravenclaw table. Soon all the Marauders were on a table Remus on Gryffindor and Peter on Slytherin.

Minerva allowed a small smile to grace her face then it disappeared. "Mr. Black! Mr. Potter! Mr. Pettigrew! Mr. Lupin! Get off those tables at once. I expected better from you Mr. Lupin." She started to leave again but before she opened the door she said over her shoulder,"5 points from each of you. And, congratulations Mr. Potter."

Sirius jaw dropped. "Oh my Merlin. She didn't give us a detention!" his face held an expression of shock and awe. "Well lad let's leave. People to bug, pranks to think of, slime balls to wash, and girls to snog." Remus just snorted and left.

**The Teacher's Lounge **

"She finally did it!" Minerva McGonagall said later that evening when all the teachers were present for the staff meeting.

"Who did what?" Professor Flitwick squeaked.

"_The _Lily Evans finally said yes to _The _James Potter!" the words had a vary of reactions. Professor Sprout did a double take, Professor Slughorn spat out his sip of butterbeer that he just drank, Professor Flitwick fell off his chair, and Madam Hooch choked on her tea.

Professor Dumbledore merely smiled his mysterious smile while Professor Trewane said "I did predict that she would say yes."

"Everyone did Sybil." Minerva snapped to the insect like teacher.

"Now on to more important things. Albus I do believe you still have the betting records?" the Scottish witch asked.

"Indeed Minerva indeed." He pulled out the Elder Wand and summoned the records from his office. Moments later a piece of parchment flew towards him.

"Ah here we are. Yes it says here that Minerva, Poppy, and Aurora said it was fifth year, Horace, Rolanda, and I said it was sixth year and Filius, Pomona, and Septima said it was seventh year." "

So I do believe Minerva, Aurora and I get 20 galleons from each of you?" Poppy Pomfery smirked. All the staff members who lost the bet grumbled and looked in their pockets for money but they were all secretly happy for the couple because they knew they were meant to be together.

**Tomorrow At Breakfast**

Remus POV

After breakfast today Padfoot had this sudden gleam in his eye. He pulled out his wand and nobody seemed to notice except for me.

"Padfoot." I warned.

But Padfoot being Padfoot ignored me and muttered _Soronus. _

_"_HELLO EVERYBODY IT IS YOURS TRULY. YES THAT'S RIGHT SIRIUS BLACK BEST QUIDDITCH PLAYER IN THE WORLD, MOST HANDSOME PERSON ALIVE, THE BEST MARAUDER AROUND. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT OUR DEAR LILY-FLOWER HERE _**FINALLY**_AGREED TO OUR DEAR PRONGS HERE. THOSE OF YOU WHO GUESSED FIFTH YEAR I'LL BE GIVING MONEY NEXT PERIOD. OH AND PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE I OWE YOU 20 GALLEONS CORRECT?" He took the charm off and sat down and ate happily at a piece of bacon.

"That is correct Mr. Black." Professor Dumbledore, that barmy old man, chuckled. Professor McGonagall glared at Dumbledore and told us all to go to class. I snuck a glance at Lily and her face nearly matched her hair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sirius Gets Owned**

**Disclaimer: its definitely not mine no matter how much I wish it was. Now I know said I was going to quit writing fanfiction but someone told me not to so here I am continuing this story. For those of you who read my other James and Lily story "Big Mistake Black" I'm sorry but I literally have no idea what I should do next so therefore if you have an idea please PM me. Now on with the story and enough of my rambling.**

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**Lily's Response**

Lily glared at Sirius and was blushing like a tomato. "SIRIUS ORION BLACK I'LL GIVE YOU 50 SECONDS TO RUN!" Lily yelled glaring at him. Sirius stood up, bowed and ran the heck out of the Great Hall. Lily tapped her foot. _Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, ONE! _Sirius's 50 seconds were up and Lily stood up, smiled and stormed out of the Great Hall. The Marauders heard Sirius yelping and were thinking about coming out to help him when they and the rest of the Great Hall heard Lily yell, " Whoever comes out to help this prick will be in a very Christmassy look for the rest of the month!" Now everyone knew exactly how good Lily was in Charms, heck even Professor Flitwick even asked her to teach for him once when he was sick. Everyone just stared at the rest of the Marauders who just shook their heads and continued eating their bacon. McGonagall just smirked and continued her conversation with Professor Dumbledore not even bothering to go outside to help Sirius. Fifteen minutes later, Lily came sauntering in smirking and sat next to her friends Alice, Alex, and Mary. Minutes later Sirius came walking in with his head hung low. There was a moment of silence and then…everyone was cackling. Sirius's hair was in a buzz cut and it bubblegum pink and even worse he had green highlights. Lily's green eyes sparkled and when James looked over to her she winked. "OI! Lily pink doesn't suit him very well." Remus shouted towards Lily. "You're right Remus…hmm how about this?" and with a wave of her wand Sirius's hair was cherry red with lime green streaks. "Much better! Thanks Lils!" Remus chuckled. It was time for the lot of them to go to Transfiguration. McGonagall walk towards Lily and to their surprise there was a small smile on her face. "Miss Evans! Excellent charms work back there! 25 points to Gryffindor." And with that she walked off. Sirius was now spluttering indignantly while the rest of their friends were chuckling and Lily was smirking a smirk that would've made Sirius and James proud. Jammed walked up to Lily, swung his hand over her shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Come on Lils. Let's go to Transfiguration." Lily simply smiled and entwined her hand with James's.

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**That was just a bit of a filler story. Sorry. Anyway happy early Thanksgiving people who celebrate it like me. Who else is going Black Friday shopping? I might I swear I'm gonna get my Christmas shopping done early this year! Anyway R-E-V-I-E-W! Please? Oh I and I just wanted to tell you guys that one of my dogs Ginny, just had two puppies yesterday! I'm now a grandmother! Anyway hope you guys enjoyed my weird sense of humor. Lots of love, Ellen Potter. **


	4. Update

Hey guys! I'm finally returning to **_writing_** fanfiction. Omg right?! But anyways as you've noticed I've stopped updating my two multichapter fanfics a long time ago and I'm planning on rewriting them. However I've started rereading the series and decided to write the cliched Marauder and Lily read the series fanfiction. Anyways the first chapter will be uploaded tonight or early tomorrow.

Lots of love,

Ellen Potter


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